By M H Shahid
As Maria Robinson once said, “No one can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can just start today and make a new end.” There is nothing that could be closer to the truth. But before you can start this procedure of transformation you have to stop doing the things that have been pushing you back. She couldn’t help but think just how true so many of them are and those specific ones are especially suitable for those of us suffering from chronic fatigue syndrome, fibromyalgia and other devastating conditions.
And when you stop pursuing the wrong things, you are giving the right things a chance to catch you.
Here are some ideas to get you started:
1. Stop spending time with the wrong people. – The life is actually too short to spend time with people who remove the happiness out of you. And if somebody wants you in their life, they will create room for you. You never have to fight for a spot. Never, ever commit yourself to anyone who constantly overlooks your worth. And never forget that it’s not the people that stand by your side when you are at your best, but the ones who are beside you even when you are at your worst and those are your true friends.
2. Stop running from your problems.– No, it will never be easy to face your problems. There is no one in the world capable of perfectly handling every blow thrown at them. We are not supposed to be able to straightaway solve problems. That is not how we were made. In reality, we were just made to get disappointed, hurt, sad, stumble and fall. Because that is the actual purpose of living – to learn, face problems, adapt, and solve them with time. This is what eventually casts us into the person we become.
3. Stop lying to yourself. – Even if you can lie to anyone else in the entire world, but you can’t just lie to yourself. Our lives progress only when we take chances and the first and most difficult chance we can ever take is to be truthful with ourselves.
4. Stop putting your own needs on the back burner. – Losing yourself in the process of loving someone too much, and forgetting that you are special too, is the most painful thing. Do help others, but also help yourself too. In case there was ever a moment to follow your desires and do something that really matters to you, then that moment is now.
5. Stop trying to be someone you’re not. – Being yourself in a world that is trying to make you like everybody else, is one of the greatest challenges in life. Someone will always be more attractive, someone will always be smarter, and someone will always be younger, but they can never be you. So, don’t change so that people will like you. Just be yourself and the right people will always love the real you.
6. Stop trying to hold onto the past. – You can’t just start the next chapter of your life if you keep on re-reading your last one.
7. Stop being scared to make a mistake. – Doing something wrong is at least ten times more productive than doing nothing. Every single success has a trail of catastrophes behind it, and every failure is leading towards success. In the end you regret the things you did not do far more than the things you did.
8. Stop berating yourself for old mistakes. – Maybe we love the wrong person and cry about the wrong things, but it doesn’t matter how things go wrong, one thing will always be for sure that mistakes help us find the person and things which are right for us. We all have struggles, make mistakes, and even regret the things in our past. But we are not our mistakes, we are not our struggles, and we are here with the authority to shape our day and our future. Because every single thing that has ever happened to us in our life is preparing us for a moment that is yet to come.
9. Stop trying to buy happiness. – A lot of things we wish are expensive. But in reality, the things that really satisfy us are actually totally free – happiness, laughter, love and working on our desires.
10. Stop exclusively looking to others for happiness. – In case you are not happy with who you are on the inside, then you won’t be happy in a long-term relationship with anyone else either. You just have to establish constancy in your own life first, before you can actually share it with someone else.
11. Stop being idle. – Don’t think too much or you’ll create a problem that wasn’t even there in the first place. Evaluate situations and take decisive action. You cannot change what you refuse to confront. Making progress involves risk. Period! You can’t make it to second base with your foot on first.
12. Stop thinking you’re not ready. – No one is totally ready when an opportunity arises. Because most great chances in life force us to grow beyond our comfort zones, which means that we won’t feel totally comfortable at first.
13. Stop getting involved in relationships for the wrong reasons. – Every relationship must be chosen intelligently. It is better to be all alone than to be in a bad company. There is no need to rush for anything. If anything is destined to be, it will happen eventually – in the right time, with the right person, and for the best of the reason. You have to fall in love when you are ready, and not when you are lonely.
14. Stop rejecting new relationships just because old ones didn’t work. – In real life you will realize that there is always a purpose for everyone you ever meet. Some will just test you, some will use you and some will surely teach you. But the most important thing is that some will bring out the best in you.
15. Stop trying to compete against everyone else. – You don’t have to worry about what others are doing better than you. Think on defeating your own records every day. Success is just a battle between you and yourself.
16. Stop being jealous of others. – Jealousy is just the art of including someone else’s blessings instead of your own. Ask yourself this one thing that what is something I have that everyone wants.
17. Stop complaining and feeling sorry for yourself. – Life’s curveballs are thrown for a reason – to shift your path in a direction that is meant for you. You may not see or understand everything the moment it happens, and it may be tough. But reflect back on those negative curveballs thrown at you in the past. You’ll often see that eventually they led you to a better place, person, state of mind, or situation. So smile! Let everyone know that today you are a lot stronger than you were yesterday, and you will be.
18. Stop having grudges. – Live your life with only love in your heart. Else you will end up hurting yourself more than the people you just hate. By saying that you did to me is okay, doesn’t mean forgiveness. It means that I’m not going to let what you did to me devastate my happiness and joys forever. Forgiveness is the answer… find peace, let go, just let yourself free! And do remember that forgiveness is not just for other people, but it is for you as well. If you have to then forgive yourself, just move on and try to do well next time.
19. Stop letting others bring you down to their level. – Refuse to lower your values for those who refuse to raise theirs.
20. Stop wasting time explaining yourself to others. – Your friends never need it and your enemies will never believe it in any case. Just follow your heart and believe that what you know in your heart is right.
21. Stop doing the same things over and over again without taking a break. – The right time to take a deep breath is when you don’t have time for it. If you keep on doing what you normally do, then you will keep getting what you always get. And sometimes you have to distance yourself to see things clearly.
22. Stop overlooking the beauty of small moments. – Always enjoy the little things because they are the ones which really matter, and one day you may look back and find that they were the big things. The best portion of your life will be the small, nameless moments you spend smiling with someone who matters to you.
23. Stop trying to make things perfect. – The real world never reward perfectionists, it only rewards people who get things done.
24. Stop following the path of least resistance. – Life is never going to be easy, especially when you plan on getting something worthwhile. So, don’t take the easy way out. Do something astonishing.
25. Stop acting like everything is fine if it isn’t. – It is okay to fall apart for a moment. You don’t always have to pretend to be strong, and there is no need to continuously prove that everything is working alright. You don’t have to be worried about what other people are thinking either – cry if you want to – it is healthy to shed tears. The sooner you do, the sooner you will be able to smile again.
26. Stop accusing others for your troubles. – The degree to which you can accomplish your dreams just depends on the extent to which you take responsibility for your life. When you blame others for what you are going through, you deny responsibility. You only give others power over that part of your life.
27. Stop trying to be everything to everyone. – It is impossible to do so, and trying will just hurt you. But just by making one person smile can change the world. Perhaps not the entire world, but their world. So narrow your focus.
28. Stop worrying so much. – Worry won’t strip tomorrow of its burdens, it will only strip today of its joy. One way to make sure that if something is worth think over is to ask yourself this question: “Will this matter in a year’s time? 3 years? Five may be?” If not, then it does not deserve distressing about.
29. Stop aiming on what you don’t want to happen. – Always aim for what you do want to happen. Being positive is at the forefront of every glorious success story. If you wake up every morning thinking that something wonderful is going to happen in your life today, then you pay close attention, you will often find that you are right.
30. Stop being ungrateful. – Despite how worthy or ruthless you have got it, you should wake up every day grateful for your life. Somewhere someone is desperately fighting for their lives. Rather than thinking about what you are missing, just try to think about what you have got.
– by Dr. Muniba , MD MBBS, FUMDC.